Purple Freight Trains

I was videoing my brother on a steelhead trip this last week and found out something I love about fly fishing. No, it wasn’t the great amount of fish we caught - that totaled 1 - it was the great names given to the flies. And to think - these weren’t nicknames, these were the real McCoy!

I think that the people who give names to flies forget that fish don’t know the name of the fly being thrown at them, so a Purple Peril is NOT going to just scare a fish into hooking itself. It would be nice, though, wouldn’t it? In fact, Purple Peril isn’t exactly a frightening name. Peril, yes. Purple? Well, that’s like trying to make puppies sound mean. Maybe I could suggest a fly called a Ferocious Puppy? Well, at any length, it is amusing - this Purple Peril - but it didn’t hook any fish this past trip.

One of the flies my brother threw frequently this past week was another attempt at making the color purple seem not so girly - the Purple Freight Train. Now, this one I like. In fact, I am thinking of sending this away to the Minnesota Vikings to use as their new slogan. Back in the seventies they were called the Purple People Eaters - well, it’s time for something new, and I’m one fan that thinks the Purple Freight Train is just awesome. Think of it as Adrian Peterson and his O-line. See? Works great, doesn’t it? Now, where did I put their marketing agent’s phone number? Actually, this was the one fly that seemed to somehow fool some trout into thinking it was a real fly. Benji caught one Idaho Cutthroat on it, had another one hooked and had several other bites with it - all of which is significant, because usually a trout doesn’t bite a steelhead fly because…well, because steelie flies don’t even look a little bit like a real fly.

My personal favorite fly that Benji used was called the Green Butt Skunk. I’m not sure I even have to say anything here. This one just makes me laugh. Go ahead, say it out loud and try not to laugh.

From there we moved on to the Streetwalker. I thought we should have been reading the newest book by - who am I kidding, I don’t read books, so I won’t even try to think up a name. Anyways, it does sound like a good name for a murder mystery or something of that sort. Alas, it is just a fly that didn’t collect a single nibble.

Finally, Benji decided we’d tried all the mysterious and dangerous sounding flies, so he tied on a Skokomish Sunrise. Well, there is nothing to say here. Just a boring, pretty sounding fly. UGH! Needless to say, the fish were humiliated that we’d even think they’d bite something with such a name.

The other flies Benji used were Bunny Leeches and Egg Sucking Leeches. I’ve heard of egg sucking dogs, but leeches? I’m not sure where to go with the Bunny Leeches. That is either trying to make bunnies sound vile or make leeches sound pretty - not sure which direction they were going with that. I do know that both flies were Oh-Fer. Not a single whiff. While some would say it was a disappointing trip - what with just the one fish being caught, and it wasn’t even what we were after - I came away more entertained than I’d been in quite a while. In fact, I’m looking forward to another trip to the river where maybe we can go after trout with a Stimulator or - get this - a Wooly Bugger.